Just over 2 months ago, the first case of COVID-19 was reported in the US. Just over 1 month ago, the first COVID related death in the US was announced. In the days surrounding both of those events, I heard plenty of people explain how COVID was a scam of some sort, a media fabrication, a government ploy, a Democratic strategy to help oust Trump, and most commonly-the flu’s weaker step-brother. In perhaps the most mind-numbing reporting of statistics that was factually accurate but presented conclusions that were the definition of stupid, folks commented incessantly how COVID’s death rate was so minuscule and how the flu had killed far more people. It was like a first-time flyer 1.5 seconds into the plane starting down the runway saying “my Prius can go faster than this.” Um, yeah, no duh. But get back to me on that in 10 seconds. Yet even 10 seconds later, or in this case a few weeks, when COVID had first claimed the lives of more than 500 Americans in back-to-back days, a young man sat in my living room and quickly repeated the tired line of how many more lives the flu had already killed. I said, “Well, if you multiply 500 by 365, you’d zoom past the annual flu death totals and that’s not to mention that this thing is apparently just getting ramped up. It could get a lot worse than 500 deaths in a day.” He didn’t fire back but his eyes sure seemed dismissive. Here we are a week later.
Checks Notes.
1,321 deaths today. 1000 deaths per day for the last few days and obviously trending upward.
But the point of this post isn’t to bore you with facts about how serious COVID is. I mean-we’re down to like 0.00001% who are still spewing dismissive hogwash about this virus. They have mostly all gone quiet. And if you wanted more details or more proof of how serious this is, just google it, or better yet, walk outside. Rather, the point of this post is to highlight a lesson we should all be learning about our words, about our opinions, about our social media posts. *GASP* Yes, especially, our social media posts.
If you are going to venture beyond posting the beautiful Bible verses, the funny memes about cats, or the family updates to delve into the political, social, financial, doctrinal, or even medical debates, odds are (and mounting with every additional post) you are going to err eventually. You are going to post some bombastic point of view that ultimately proves to miss the mark. Point blank–you are going to be wrong.
During the first few weeks of this COVID outbreak, I made the decision to “unfollow” a few Facebook friends, one of whom I worship with on Sundays. After schools and churches started shutting down for months at a time and “quarantine” became the 2020 word-of-the-year, I remembered that I had unfollowed them weeks ago and went back to see if it was safe to follow them again. You should know-I do love their family or sports or church or work or food-related posts. While I was happy to see the barrage of “You’re all stupid for believing this COVID news matters” posts had ceased, I was hopeful to find a change of tune. Even better, I was hoping to see a “Well, I missed this one. Call me a meteorologist. Whoops, my bad. Y’all stay safe. I’ll see you in May!” But…
Nope.
Nada.
4 weeks ago: “This is stupid! Our government is stupid! The media made this all up! The flu is way deadlier than this! You are all sheep for caring! I’ve got beach-front property in Kansas and a roll of toilet paper I’ll sell you for $100k!” (Ok, that last one was actually funny.)
Today: Crickets
Oh the respect I would regain for that person if they simply admitted that they were wrong!
Why is it so difficult for us to admit we are wrong? As Christians, many of us are quick to honestly report: “I’m just a sinner saved by grace! If my salvation was in any way dependent on how good I am, I would be up the creek without a paddle. I’m just a nobody trying to tell everybody about Somebody that can save anybody.” The list goes on. But if you pare down from the general to the specific, we don’t like to acknowledge specific errors. About the time I wanted to get my feathers ruffled about these friends failing to publicly admit how wrong they were, I remembered all the times I have admitted I was wrong. Publicly? Maybe 1 or 2. Maybe. I’m terrible at this too.
So let me lead by example.
I was wrong.
About what you may ask.
Pretty much everything, but I don’t think here or now is the right time to get into all the specifics.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, the irony.
ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! (Takes ball and goes home.)
When I entered my 20s, I developed this idea that having an affair must be so difficult. All the lies. The hiding. The sneaking around. The two-faced nature of it all. How could a person even enjoy it? Don’t get me wrong-I’m not stupid. I have been totally aware of the classic “you want what you’re not supposed to have” mindset, the perfect proof of just how depraved the human race is. I came up with several reasons why a person would consider cheating on their spouse but never could find one that made any of that devious behavior worth it. If you’ll allow me to skip the more obvious (and vastly more important) point that adultery is sin against God (not to mention your own body-1 Corinthians 6:18), the anxiety of it would be too much for me. I, in my 20s, would tell you-having an affair is way too difficult.
But now, staring down 35 and happily married might I add, I have flip-flopped on this issue.
Having an affair is way too easy!
I wish somehow this blog could allow me to require the reader to stop here and answer a question. Why do you think I’ve changed my tune? Why do I now say that having an affair is too easy?
I’m betting that if folks had to guess my rationale for declaring that affairs are “too easy” they’d say things like:
*So many others have done it & society just doesn’t view it as terribly as they once did. *Marriage is hard and the grass often looks greener. *This sex-crazed society has created an environment where affairs are likely. *Technology has allowed people to connect so easily and secretly. *There are a lot of forward, promiscuous people out there. You’ve probably had a coworker, neighbor, classmate, or even church friend be…well…too friendly.
I get all that, but no-that’s not what I mean at all. Before I give you all the background info that’s rattling around in my head, let me get right to the point.
Having an affair is too easy because it takes little work, requires little (or no) investment, demands no commitment, and provides no intimacy. Aha, there’s the magic word that changed everything.
Intimacy.
We live in a culture that knows all there is to know about sex, but knows very little about intimacy.
At 25, I thought affairs were too difficult because to get sex (something we all love) the tradeoff was secrecy, lies, and risk, basically that you put more into it than you get out of it.
At 35, I think affairs are too easy because to get sex (something we should all love) the tradeoff is rubbish (little work, no investment, no commitment), basically that you get more out of it than you put into it. Let me clarify-the mostly meaningless sex that one gets out of an affair isn’t worth much, yet still more than what they’ve put into it.
Affairs, at the very heart of them, are high heels and cheap thrills. Look as good as you can. Excite your mind and body with realities that are like sand in an hourglass, crumbling before they’re even built. Put nothing meaningful in. Get nothing meaningful out. And of course I’ve spoken nothing of the most important aspect-the inherent risk of destroying families and chiseling near-irreparable holes in the current marriages.
At 25, I thought sex on my wedding night would be the best of my life. Ok, you can laugh. I wish again here that this blog could require you to pause and predict why I thought that. No worries, I’ll spare you from my listing out what I predict your answer would be. HA HA. But seriously, I thought sex that first time would be the best ever by far. In fact, it would be the closest to sex in an affair that I would ever get. The anticipation! The excitement! The unknown! The passion! By the time we got to our hotel room that night, we could barely keep our eyes open. True story. There should be some alternate reality where wedding nights do not have to take place immediately after wedding days. But moving on, sex on our honeymoon was incredible. We didn’t know what we were doing and definitely hit some bumps in the road, but it was awesome.
But at 35, it’s so different. So…better! And it’s why I can now authoritatively say that affairs are too easy. Again, speaking apart from my identity in Christ, speaking 100% carnally, when it comes to affairs, I ain’t interested. Too easy. Perhaps better stated, too empty. Let me just say it- Now that I know meaningful sex, I am not interested in empty sex (sex without intimacy). All over the place, you’ll find four common components of intimacy. 1. To bond. 2. To share. 3. To feel safe. 4. To sex it up. Look it up- of course you’ll find much more on intimacy than those four tiny epithets (and perhaps a more professional explanation on #4 haha).
So here’s why sex in an affair could never even come within one million miles of being as good as sex with my wife.
My wife knows me. She knows me better than anyone else, sometimes me included. She knows all my weaknesses, all my frailties, all my shortcomings. She has chosen to walk with me through seasons of doubt, frustration, sorrow, fear, and failure. She has called me out, called me up, and pulled me in. She knows all my issues and wants me anyway. She chooses not only to love me through all of my crap, but also chooses to recognize the good, the growth, the godly in me. She knows full well how I’ve wronged her over the years yet wants to be close to me, to be intimate with me. And while my laundry list is much longer, I could write the same paragraph over and switch my place with hers. I know all the good and all the bad about her and daily I continue (more with actions than words) to say, “I want you. I want all of you.”
See that’s the problem with affairs (again, you know, not counting the fact that God will pour out his wrath upon this sin)- affairs are so easy. You sneak into a bed with a person (no matter how well you supposedly know them) whose crap you haven’t had to deal with. You haven’t walked with them through their hurts, through their failures, through their doubts. And if you think “being a shoulder for them to cry on” at work or via text or over coffee sporadically is anywhere close to counting, you’ve clearly never been married. No, I mean living with them through all of their insecurities, with all of their anxieties, investing in what matters to them, being disappointed when they hurt or ignore you. You’re sneaking into bed with a Facebook post, an Instagram picture, a facade. This ain’t reality. No matter how long you’ve known them or how long you’ve been “close friends”, um…no. This is easy. Marriage is hard.
Yeah, marriage is hard, but it is the most amazing thing. The intimacy I share with my wife is the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. I know now why it is analogous to Christ and the church. So just remember, whenever you are tempted to have an affair (even if only in the mind), you’re undoubtedly taking the easy way out.
High heels and cheap thrills. Hollow, worthless sex that will never satisfy. When your spouse fights for a future with you, invests in your becoming the person God has called you to be, is honest and challenging with you, knows all of your crap and chooses to see the good in you, knows every detail about you and still wants you, you won’t need high heels (though let’s be honest-they are nice every once in a while) and you definitely won’t need cheap thrills. You’ll just want your spouse. Sex, optional. Ok, not options, but…you know…only one piece of the puzzle…one enormously important piece of the puzzle. But I digress.
Before you read much farther, stop and answer two questions for me.
First: How many times have you made that statement (“Let me know if you need anything”) to a person in their time of sorrow, pain, or struggle? It may be a difficult question to answer not because it is even the least bit confusing but rather because of how often you make the statement. If you’re like me, there’s no way you can remember all the times you have said it.
Second: How many times has that person actually contacted you to let you know that they need your help? I’m guessing this is a far easier question to answer.
Regardless of whether you were able to pinpoint precise answers to either question, the point remains. Most of us have offered help a multitude of times using this very statement. Yet very few times have any sorrowful, hurting, or struggling people contacted us to let us know that they need something. This fact begs the question: Do we really mean it when we offer this help, help that is preconditioned upon their speaking up and telling us that they do need something? Whoa, it sure would be a harsh accusation to suggest that we are only willing to offer this help because we know it’s highly unlikely that the person ever requests it! Now I do truly believe that many who make this statement (“Let me know if you need anything”) really mean it. They really want to help. I believe this because most times I have made the statement while being sincerely willing to help in any way possible. There is an argument to be made that the statement (for some) has become so common in our culture that some repeat it to grieving folks out of habit, almost not even considering the commitment they are making (similar to the common statement in religious culture when responding to a struggling person–“I’ll be praying for you.” Many are quick to say it with no real commitment to ever pray on the matter.) But for the sake of this post, I am writing to those who are truly willing to help, those who continue to use such an ineffective offer to help but not because they are trying to simultaneously sound nice and dodge work. If you agree with the premise of this post (that we get a terribly low rate of response to our offer, in other words-that we say “let me know if you need anything” far more often than the person actually lets us know what they need), I urge you to consider several possibilities that lead you and me to continue making this statement during others’ time of need. Some of these may not apply to you, but I ask you to honestly consider your motives.
Why do we keep saying to those in need: “Let me know if you need anything”?
It sounds good.
It’s simple. It’s to the point. It’s our way of saying-“I care!” In fact, “I care enough to help you with anything you need!” There is no question that it is a great way to close the conversation you’ve just had with the person who has lost their job, or with the one grieving the death of a loved one, or the friend who is injured or sick. There’s no doubt–it’s a much better note to leave on than saying something to the effect of: “Ok, sorry to hear about all this. Bye.” In fact, I’m so concerned with showing sympathy that I’ll often hit them with both closing statements before I leave.
Me: I am so sorry to hear about this. You let me know if you need anything, ok!?
Friend: Will do. Thank you so much.
Me: You’re welcome. And hey, I’ll be praying for you.
All jokes aside, I truly do intend to pray for those to whom I make this commitment, but I would be embarrassed at the number of times I have neither done anything to help nor prayed. “Let me know if you need anything!” It sounds so good.
Others say it.
You’ve heard your mom say it. You’ve heard your grandmother say it. You’ve heard your pastor say it. You’ve heard the nicest neighbor you’ve ever had say it. All the nice people are saying it! You want to be nice so you say it. In fact, it may be the most common closing statement that nice people make when they have heard someone is walking through a difficult situation. All we like sheep have gone astray…
We don’t know a specific way to help.
Some of the situations that others are walking through are tricky. If the widow next door has grass two feet tall, we’d (surely) never be too ignorant to say, “Let me know if you need anything.” But if a friend mentions they are fighting depression during this season and feel deep anxiety even at the thought of conversating with others, determining an action step that shows your care and concern is seemingly much more difficult. Might be best to just offer the classic-Let me know if you need anything, right?
We mean it.
“Come on, David! Lighten up. You make it sound like this is some terrible statement that only the devious would employ.” Ok, fair point. Perhaps the most common motive behind this statement is the one found by taking the statement at face value. I want you to let me know if you need anything. I care about you. I am inviting you to inform me of how I can help you. And did I mention “anything“? I’ll do anything to help. I mean it.
Ok, so whatever the reason is for your using this statement, let me clarify that you’re not actually a terrible person. You likely don’t have the wrong motive. You likely do care. But on the other hand, it’s time for you to prove that you aren’t a terrible person, that you have the right motive, that you do care. How? Stop using this statement! Stop saying, “Let me know if you need anything.” It’s time to admit it. These folks rarely if ever let you know their need. So if we know that this statement isn’t having its intended effect, it’s time to drop it. So, what should you say instead?
First, before even brining up the idea of your willingness to meet a need, consider what potential needs there are. The grieving friend who has lost a loved one may be clueless about how to approach planning a service or dealing with a funeral home. You may have experience with such things. Don’t know them well enough to take on something so personal? What about providing a meal for their family during these days that are so hectic and scattered? The college student who seems overwhelmed with life’s newest challenges may need a coffee break or lunch date, a break from their craziness for a free treat with a kind reminder that this season actually won’t kill them. The single mother at her wit’s end might squeal with glee at your offer to keep the kids one Saturday afternoon so she can have some quiet time or appreciate being invited over for dinner with her kiddos, a kind gesture that is far too often only reserved for couples. The list goes on and on. Most situations that compel you to say “let me know if you need anything” have several easy to uncover “needs” if you’ll simply slow down for a moment to think of them instead of putting the onus on the person who undoubtedly will balk at the thought of asking you for help.
And in those moments when you are at a loss for what action truly would be helpful, don’t lean back on the tired statement. Instead, say something like this. “I know you are walking through a difficult time right now. I want you to know that I truly care about you. I’m considering different ways I can be a blessing to you right now. When I settle on one, is it ok for me to run it by you first to make sure it actually would be helpful?” They’ll likely say, “Oh, you don’t need to do anything.” You should say, “No, I want to do something. I’ll be in touch.” They’ll say, “Wow, ok, thank you!” When three days later you’re still blank on what to do, you call them and say “I want to do something for you. I’m stuck on what to do. Help me out. What is something I can do for you today that would be a blessing?” If this sounds like more work or seems like it might be more awkward, you’re right–it is. It takes more out of you when you are set on proving how much you care instead of simply saying it.
Galatians 6:9 is fairly famous. “Do not grow weary in doing good!” But is it the next verse that drives my thought that I have presented in this post. Galatians 6:10- “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” Notice the verse never says anything about offering to do good. It simply says–do good. When? As we have opportunity. What opportunities will God put in your path today or in the days soon to come to do good to others? I urge you not to ask others to call you if they need something but instead to press into their lives just a bit so that you may prove your love in actions not words.
And about those in your life who are scattered, stressed, stretched, grieving, struggling, hurting, and all else that life throws at us,
I’ll let you know in advance–they do need something.
Last night while preaching in our youth worship service, I highlighted the powerful words from Paul found in the latter part of 2 Corinthians 10:5.
“WE TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE TO OBEY CHRIST!”
What an amazing idea! How would my life change if every thought was bound up in obedience to Christ? Last night’s sermon centered around how healthy, God-honoring thoughts (also corralling and eliminating improper or unhealthy thoughts) help to safe guard the believer from falling into the enemy’s traps, to resist temptation. Now last night’s sermon focused on the kind of tempting thoughts that drive a believer toward anger or apathy or sexual sin or trying substances that should be avoided or laziness. But there is another type of thought that proves to be just as dangerous a threat as any of the other ones. It is the thought of regret. It is the thought of shame or guilt. It is the oppressing thought centered around something in the past that can’t be changed, can’t be undone. For some, it is a regret of commission (you committed an action that was wrong.) For others, it is a regret of omission (you omitted an action that was right.)
I was speaking to a friend last week about how powerful the life of Paul was and they said something that I had never considered before. But first, a bit of background. We need to glance at the days before Paul was Paul when he was Saul. Acts 7 tells the story of the martyrdom of Stephen, a godly man who served as one of the first deacons. After false witnesses stirred up trouble for Stephen (Acts 6:13), the High Priest gave Stephen the chance to defend himself (Acts 7:1). That was a mistake. 52 verses later Stephen had given them a history lesson from Abraham to Moses to David to Jesus before ultimately charging them with the murder of the Righteous One. Obviously, this crowd was not pleased. They killed him. But one detail about Stephen’s death really stands out. The second half of Acts 7:58 says this about the witnesses who were about to launch stones and make Stephen the first recorded martyr for Jesus:
“They laid down their garments at the feet of a young man named Saul.”
The men who killed Stephen took off their outer garments (we’d say “coats”) and entrusted them with Saul until the stoning was over. There is some disagreement about what this details means. Some suggest Saul was already in charge and hence others “did the work” and he simply supervised. Others (pointing to Luke’s inclusion of the phrase “young man” to describe Saul) believe Saul was simply a trusted ally of the group who willingly served in the simple role of guarding the valuable garments while they snuffed out the life of one of God’s children. Regardless, the next chapter confirms two undebatable facts.
First, Acts 8:1
“Saul approved of his death.”
And second, this event catapulted Saul into further persecution of Christians in Acts 8:3
“Saul was ravaging the church, and entering house after house, he dragged off men and women and committed them to prison.”
Ok, so what’s this have to do with thoughts? My friend asked me a question that truly gripped me: “What do you think Paul thought when he passed Stephen’s grave or when he heard other believers recall wonderful things about Stephen’s life or when he met some of Stephen’s family. One of the most beautiful aspects of our redemption is how it supernaturally rights our wrong, erases our debts, and removes the heavy shackles of our sin. But while the soul unquestionably has been liberated, the mind seems so easily drawn back into the bondage of shame, guilt, and regret. I can’t state with certainty that Paul ever struggled with these thoughts in relation to Stephen’s death but Acts 22:20 records Paul’s vivid recollection of his part in Stephen’s death some 25 years later. The forgiveness that Paul’s salvation brought did not include a memory swipe.
With this in mind, Paul’s famous words in Philippians 3 start popping:
“But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way.” – Phi 3:13b-15a (emphasis mine)
This theme appearing in Philippians 3 is no shock when you study the Pauline epistles. In fact, Paul had a lot to say about the mind and our thoughts.
Set your mind on the Spirit (Rom 8:6). Renew your mind (Rom 12:2). Be fully convinced in your own mind (Rom 14:5). Be of the same mind (1 Cor 1:10/Phi 2:2). Pray with the mind (1 Cor 14:15). Let the mind of Christ be in you (Phi 2:5). Your thoughts can be led astray (2 Cor 11:3). Take every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Cor 10:5). Be mature in your thinking (1 cor 14:20). God is able to do exceeding abundantly more than we can think (Eph 3:20). Set your minds on things above (Col 3:2). Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, think on these things (Phi 4:8). The peace of God will guard your minds (Phi 4:7).
I step outside of the annals of Scripture to assume Paul did encounter people, places, or things that reminded him of Stephen or worse, those Christians that he personally assaulted. I will go a step further and assume that in those moments, at times, he felt a sharp sense of regret or shame. It is why “forgetting what lies behind” is such a powerful exercise. A few lines in the popular song, “Tell Your Heart To Beat Again”, really stand out. “Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been. Tell your heart to beat again.” It’s a poetic way to say “forget what lies behind.”
So what’s your Stephen story? You know, the regretful thing that floods your mind from time to time. Seeing certain people immediately draws memories that linger far too long. Visiting a certain place reminds you of the failure you had, or worse, failure you were. We all have them. You’re not alone. But one guarantee has been made that you can take to the bank- Your sins, even the worst ones, have all been covered in the blood of Jesus. There is not one single mistake you’ve made that outranked God’s grace. If you’ve allowed the past to become a dominating force in your mind, it’s time to get free from it. Set out on a journey of studying and claiming what Scripture says about your mind, your thoughts, and your forgiveness. Go to the Lord each day in prayer and ask him to strengthen you in your mind. Write down what thoughts ought to replace the guilt-laden ones and go to that list when you feel overwhelmed by those memories.
Some believers would say, “Thoughts from my past are so powerful in me because of the stupid things I have done.” The believer ought to say, “Thoughts from my past are so powerful in me because of the redemptive work Jesus Christ has done.” He has released you from the shame and guilt of your mistakes.
Perhaps it’s not your heart that needs to beat anew, but rather your mind that needs to think anew.
Have
you seen or heard the Ad Council’s public service announcements encouraging
people to adopt foster children? Their resounding statement is—“You don’t have
to be perfect to be a perfect parent.”
I
can’t help but think of this statement when considering why churches are losing
their young people in droves. You don’t have to be perfect to be a perfect
church. You just have to have the power of God.
Perhaps a bit of my story will help drive home this point.
My
father was a Baptist pastor for most of my childhood. Each church that my Dad
pastored was far from perfect. My Dad was far from perfect. Some of the
imperfections were really startling. I have had a couple of people with
knowledge of the shortcomings say, “I am surprised you didn’t give up on church
after all of that.” Did I experience things at church that proved to be serious
stumbling blocks for me? Yes, absolutely. But I also experienced some mighty
moves of God that I will never be able to shake.
In
the 90s, my Dad was preaching a revival in Easley, SC, each night from Monday
to Friday. The services were amazing. When Friday’s service ended, they just
couldn’t bear to see the revival end. So they extended it another week. And
another week. And another week. Nearly two months later, we concluded an
eight-week revival. People were trusting Christ to be their Savior. Marriages
that were falling apart were being restored. People that had been holding
grudges publicly apologized in front of the church and made things right.
Christians were giving money to help those in need. It was the most beautiful
sight for this little boy to see. But one thing stands out above all of the other
stories that revival can tell.
Each
night before the service began, the men would gather in a Sunday School room to
pray for the revival. A few would give prayer requests. After a few weeks of
the revival and several incredible answers to prayers that had been prayed in
that room, one evening a man fought back tears and offered his prayer request
to the group of men. It went something like this: “Men, please pray for me and
pray for my son. I have not seen my son in 24 years. I wasn’t the Dad I needed
to be. Now he won’t speak to me. I’m trying to make contact with him and want
to make things right.” He couldn’t finish speaking because of the tears. At my
age, I couldn’t fully understand the weight of his words, but they certainly
grabbed my heart. I prayed earnestly that night for this man and his son. We
all did. And the next night. And the next night. A few nights into this, back
in that prayer room, the man told us that he had left a message for his son
about how God had changed his life, how badly he wanted to see him again, and
about how amazing this revival had been. We all prayed the more earnestly that
God would allow these two to reunite. We finished the prayer time and walked
back out to the sanctuary.
That man’s son was sitting on the front row. The dad lost it. The two hugged and didn’t let go for what felt like an eternity. That night’s service had not even started but “revival” was already in full force.
Sure,
I saw some horribly imperfect things in and around church growing up, some
things that I have made a priority to avoid as an adult, but I 100%, without a
shadow of a doubt, saw the power of God.
It’s
been a difficult question for me to answer as an adult. Why did God do some
wondrously perfect things in some shockingly imperfect churches? While I cannot
give you a complete answer on why God chooses to do what he does, one thing is
certain. You don’t have to be perfect to be a perfect church. You don’t have to
be perfect to be a powerful church.
But…you know…we would be wise to look closely at the question again. Though our finite minds cannot fully grasp our vast and infinite God, there is so much to gain from investigating who he is and what he does. So I’ll ask the question again:
WHY DOES GOD DO PERFECT THINGS IN IMPERFECT CHURCHES?
After a good bit of study in both the Old and New Testament and from my own personal experience, I submit a very simple answer for your consideration:
GOD DOES PERFECT THINGS IN IMPERFECT CHURCHES BECAUSE THEY ASK HIM!
When we don’t understand something about God we are quick to point to Isaiah 55.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
So,
in short, God is going to do things we do not understand, things we cannot
understand. He will even do amazing things through people who are notably
broken and imperfect. But the context of Isaiah 55 adds a lot to the passage. In
what Matthew Henry calls a “covenant of grace”, the chapter details how God is
calling his people to repentance and promising that his word will “accomplish
that which I purpose and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” God
is going to do a beautiful work of redemption through Jesus Christ. So what
role does the church play? Tucked away in the middle of Isaiah 55 is the task
committed to God’s people.
“Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near.” Isaiah 55:6
If you want the power of God to be real in your church, you can have it. The next verse in Isaiah 55 provides the only prerequisite given to God’s people: Repent. God is not seeking churches with the best facilities, with the best programs, with the most qualified staffs, with the most perfect standards, with the purest doctrine, with the trendiest vibe. God is seeking “true worshippers.” Young people are leaving churches with great music, with great preaching and teaching, with great doctrinal statements, with great programs. Why? The American church has learned how to have all of those things without ever having the authentic power of God in their midst.
Among those 120 people in Acts 1 who comprised the first New Testament church, there were those who struggled with doubt and disobedience, some filled with pride and prejudice, and others tainted by fear and faithlessness. In fact, their track record after Acts 1 would make them look a lot better than their track record prior to Acts 1. But in Acts 2 the power of God fell on that group and the most amazing things started happening. The church exploded both in power and in number. Was it random? Now that Jesus was gone, were they just sitting mindlessly by waiting for God to provide further instruction? I remind you…
GOD DOES PERFECT THINGS IN IMPERFECT CHURCHES BECAUSE THEY ASK HIM!
“All these with one accord were devoting themselves to prayer.” Acts 1:14
After
the Spirit came at Pentecost and Peter trumpeted the Gospel and 3,000 souls
were added to the church (some other-worldly, powerful things), they continued
to devote themselves to
“The apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.” Acts 2:42
In
Acts 4, after the lame beggar had been healed near the Beautiful Gate of the
temple, Peter and John were arrested. The New Testament church faced its first
real opposition. Once Peter and John were released and returned to the church, did
the church cower in fear? No, they prayed! Stop now and go read Acts 4,
specifically verses 23-30. They prayed! And what happened?
“And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness.” Acts 4:31
The next few verses that close out the 4th
chapter of Acts reveal an incredible theme: powerful unity! Only the power of
God can preserve unity within a church. And imagine the number of young people
who are out of church today because they suffered through a disharmonious
church battering and bruising each other.
If
you are truly concerned about retaining young men and women in your church, stop
searching for the latest trends, stop arguing over music, stop sugarcoating the
truth, stop ignoring your church’s shortcomings, stop strategizing. Instead,
START PRAYING!
It will not be yourmusic or your preaching or your small group or your strategy that will grasp the heart of young people. It will be the power of God!
Is God’s power on display in your church? Do you see God’s
hand clearly moving among your young people? If the answer is no, drop everything and get to praying.
Don’t take another step until God has heard your church pour out its heart in desperate
need of his move, of his power.
If God’s power is
on display in your church, among your youth, bathe every decision in prayer. Cover
every young person in prayer. Let every decision, every program, every
strategy, every service, every trip, every lesson, and every word be the
product of powerful prayer.
In the meantime, let’s all quit acting shocked that
millennials are leaving the church in droves. Would you continue to go to a
doctor if he never had any answers, visit a restaurant if it didn’t serve food,
get into a car if it wouldn’t go forward, or give money to a charity if it
never did any good work? The answer is obvious. Such is the case with the
millennial leaving the church.
You don’t have to be perfect to be a perfect church.
When Jesus sat down on a mountain near the Sea of Galilee to give what would prove to be His most famous sermon, he gave simple instructions to his closest followers. The words were simple, but incredibly difficult to obey. This sermon changed the way a believer would approach life. “Bless when cursed. Love when hated. Do good when wronged. Turn the other cheek. Go the extra mile. Abstain from sin even in your mind or in your words.” The list goes on. Yet, before Jesus taught those ideals, he laid this foundation: Believer, you are salt and you are light. For the believer to seize this sermon and resolve to live it out, it must be acknowledged that there is purpose, divine purpose.
You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Living out the words of Jesus from the rest of the sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7) will ensure that you are salt in a tasteless world. Ever received an order of fries that had missed the salt shaker? You probably returned them or rushed to find a salt packet. It’s just not quite right without the salt.
Today, our society offers every flavor of every thing you could ever want. You can take your pick! Yet, how tasteless, how worthless the end of that road is. The addict needs the fix yet can’t really even taste the product anymore. Don’t be tricked into thinking this only applies to drugs and alcohol! The home, the church, the bedroom have all been caught in this snare. You can take your pick of how you want to live your life to ensure that you are happy. The result: our homes are falling apart, our children are turning away, and our churches are bland. We are the Baskin Robbins generation. You can have your pick of whatever flavor you like. All these choices, yet people feel unsatisfied.
Pass the salt!
If ever there was a time when light was needed, it is today. This generation is drowning in the misery of its darkness. Our young people are so exposed to evil that their minds are being blinded (2 Cor 4:4.) Their hearts are being stolen by wickedness. And sadly, there are few places where light is shining.
Today, we have the light that is needed. Who would have something so useful and hide it? Let it not be us. Let it be said of us as it was said by Isaiah in reference to Jesus beginning His ministry:
the people dwelling in darkness have seen a great light, and for those dwelling in the region and shadow of death, on them a light has dawned.”
Do you feel like we are a people “dwelling in the region and shadow of death?” I do. But we have hope! We have a future! We have light! Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine.
At ACS, one way we want the light of Jesus to shine through us is in community involvement. God has given one of our teachers the vision to get groups of our students serving in our community in various ways. We need your help! Will you please consider what need might exist that we can meet? Perhaps there is yard work that could be done for someone not able to do it or a project appropriate for students to complete. Our desire is to offer a few avenues by which ACS students can volunteer this spring.
Please email me at dposton@athenschristian.com if you have any ideas. Please be as specific as possible and give any necessary contact information.
If you are a student, a day might seem more important than others because of a big exam that will impact a GPA or because you are about to ask another student out on a date. Remember those days parents?
If you are a business person, today might carry weight with you because you plan to close a big deal, earn a big commission, or make a jump in your company.
As people, we weigh out our days and assign value to them based off how they might impact our future. The student’s exam could impact his GPA which impacts college which impacts employment which impacts life. That potential date could lead to a relationship which could lead to a marriage. The businessman’s climb up the corporate ladder could result in a new car, a new house, or even living in a new town. Again, we weigh out our days and assign value to them based off how they might impact our future.
Yet, many of us have very few “important” days. In fact, it would not be a stretch to say that most prefer having very few “important” days. The idea of having a routine day with few bumps in the road and no surprises can be very appealing. If I can just get the kids to school, get myself to work, not cause any ripples at work, hear nothing bad from the school about grades or behavior, make it back home, get supper and homework finished, I’ll be happy. Let’s do that five times and we’ll have made it to the weekend. Those important days require stronger preparation, demand additional work, and cause extra stress. Yes, those ordinary days truly are appealing.
WAKE UP!!!
Jesus warned us to avoid temporal thinking, temporal living. Yet, the days we deem “important” are only important to us because they may affect our life, our temporal life. We can not think this way. We can not live this way. There is far more important things for the Christian to consider than simply those things which will surely vanish. My job, my money, my car, my valuables and all of my things are temporary. They will not last forever. What would happen if I invested appropriately in the things in my life that will last for eternity?
My impact in my child’s life is in many ways eternal. My impact as a husband is in many ways eternal. My impact as a pastor is in many ways eternal. My impact as a teacher is in many ways eternal. I have been given the power to make a difference for eternity. Similarly, you have been empowered by God almighty to be an extension of His authority and His love in your home. Every single day is massively important. And the stakes are high!
Parent, invest appropriately. God has given you the opportunity of a lifetime. Do not allow work, money or any other temporal thing to distract you from eternal things. Your home, your child is at stake here! Do not succumb to the temptation to weigh things temporally, but rather follow Jesus’ command to “judge righteous judgment.” Your children desperately need an example of good priorities, eternal perspective, and purpose. Many millionaires are depressed. Most innovators are desperate for the next big thing. Yet, we have found true joy, true peace, true purpose.
Are your children seeing the right priorities in you? Are they seeing an example of this peace and joy? Are they learning how to critically view things with an eternal lens?
You have the ultimate power of influence in their lives. Seize it!
My last post was posted to the ACS website. If you missed it, please read below:
5.13.2014 ACS Family Helps Gerosquieta Family
ACS family,
My heart is truly touched by your willingness to minister to the Gerosquieta family. ACS has raised $2,000 to assist this family with their expenses. In addition, an ACS family has committed to acquire a headstone for Pedro’s grave. This gift will prove to be a great blessing to the family and will assuredly aid in the healing process.
God has called us to reach out to our community and to share the love of Jesus. Situations such as this one prove to be perfect opportunities for our light to shine brightly. I cannot express how much I appreciate your generosity. I’m sure my appreciation pales in comparison to the family’s gratitude.
Moving forward, we would like to take an active part in helping this family remodel the home that Pedro had purchased just a month before his death. Please read my last post for specific information about how you can help us with this effort.
God Bless!
David Poston
5.9.2014 Helping the Gerosquieta Family
As most are aware, God has laid it upon the heart of ACS to reach out to the Gerosquieta family. Pedro Gerosquieta, whose family lives directly across Highway 29 from ACS, was killed by a falling tree last week. Mr. Bamford and I met with the family earlier this week to offer our condolences for their loss and to investigate how ACS can best help. Beyond the obvious emotional toll of losing their patriarch, this family is left in a precarious situation as expenses accumulate and this tragedy took the life of their primary provider. We will continue to raise funds through Tuesday, May 13th and present them to the family in hopes that these funds will help with some of their expenses.
However, I believe there is a much greater way the ACS family and surrounding communities can assist. We have an opportunity to do something in this situation that will truly have a lasting positive impact. One month before his death, Pedro purchased a house on Helican Springs Rd. He had been working to repair the home in hopes that his family could soon move in. Though the house was in need of much work, Pedro knew that the home would provide stability and security for his wife and five children. There is no doubt in my mind that God providentially saw fit for Pedro to purchase this home before his death. Following this tragedy, the house carries even greater importance and significance to his family.
Yesterday, I met with Pedro’s wife, Rufina, and her brother, Jesus, who is visiting from Indiana to help his sister during this time. We visited the house and discussed what needs to be done before the family can live there. The house is in need of a great deal of work but does have great potential to be a source of pride for this family. I want to share some specific things with you that I believe we can get done to help them. I believe that God will work through us to see these needs be met. If you work in a certain field that corresponds to one of these needs, would you consider how you could help us get this house remodeled? Or perhaps, you’d like to give funds to buy the materials needed for one of the projects. Either way, consider what God would have you to do.
**The house needs a new roof. I believe the structure would best be served by an aluminum roof, but I am not an expert in that arena.
**Its water source is a well. Jesus has replaced some parts and now has water running in the house. However, there seems to be a leak around the pump. One who is knowledgeable in working on wells could probably quickly tell what is needed for their well.
**The house needs new flooring. Rufina mentioned what kind of flooring she feels would best serve her family. If you are skilled in this area, I can provide further details. It will not be many square feet needing to be covered.
**From my perspective, their bathroom could use a lot of work. At a minimum, a new sink is needed and carpet should be replaced with more appropriate flooring.
A couple nonessential items that would prove to be significant:
*Rufina mentioned that Pedro had secured a good amount of fencing and had planned to build a fence for the children to be safe as they play. They have some fencing toward that project already. I can’t speak to how much or what quality.
*Pedro had planned to build a storage building to house his tools, equipment, and extra household items. A storage building would prove to be a great blessing.
*Their driveway is a slight hill and currently is quite uneven. A bit of grading and/or gravel would greatly improve it.
*Any playground equipment would serve the smaller children in a great way.
If a contractor visited this house, he would see many additional needs than those I have mentioned. Perhaps God will touch your heart with an idea that is not something mentioned here. Please do not hesitate to contact me!
Finally, while some of the costs of the burial have been provided, the Gerosquietas were not able to purchase a tombstone for Pedro’s grave. Any help with securing a proper gravestone would be a great blessing and provide a bit of closure to this tragedy.
If you can help in any way, please contact me for more information!
Recently the Lord has been speaking to my heart about seizing every opportunity that He puts before me. A book that I have been reading with a couple of other Christian brothers has challenged me to be accountable for my perspective, attitude, and action in every situation. A few times last week, I have had the opportunity to share this thought with others. Now, there is no doubt in my mind that God has placed a great opportunity before ACS.
This past Wednesday, as I was driving through the gate of the school, a strong gust of wind snapped a pine branch and sent it crashing into the hood of my car. A few minutes later, we watched significant limbs continue to fall throughout the lower parking lot and noticed later where a tree had fallen in the woods. Soon after, sobering news reached us that while we were hurrying our students into the building upon their arrival Wednesday morning a family of 7 lost their father/husband directly across the street from our campus. The van in which Pedro Gerosquieta was driving was smashed by a falling tree as he left his neighborhood. While nothing can compare to the emotional toll this is having on his wife and children, we do recognize that Pedro was the financial provider for his family and that the Gerosquietas will be forced to carry a financial burden.
While some of our classes are working on cards and some of our parents/faculty are planning a meal, would you join me in providing a financial gift to help this family in their time of need? It would be nothing for our ACS family to raise over a $1,000. Perhaps God desires us to do much more. Would you prayerfully consider what God would have you do in this situation? Every situation is an opportunity. I implore the ACS family to seize this one!
When I last posted, I encouraged our parents to be prepared for a great work that God is doing at ACS. You read about my plans to preach on hypocrisy and my belief that the Holy Spirit would be convicting hearts. In that next high school chapel, the Spirit of God moved in quite a peculiar way. I had truly never experienced such a service. Scores of students moved to apologize to other students, to pray with a friend or teacher about an issue, to give a testimony to their peers, to sing a song, to rededicate their life to Christ, or even to surrender their heart and life to Him for the very first time. It was an unbelievably moving service. God has dealt so mercifully with us and deserves so much praise for the work He is doing!
As I have discussed the service with various parents and teachers, one common theme has consistently crossed my mind. GOD IS ABLE! Have you ever prayed for a certain person or about a certain situation for years without seeing much evidence that things were turning for the better? I know I have and suspect you have too. This recent chapel was an “in your face” kind of reminder that God answers prayer and that He moves in ways we cannot see or understand. The New Testament attaches faith to prayer. Keep in mind that we know faith operates without sight. It functions without proof. Faith often defies facts. Yet there is a serious temptation to lose heart when prayers seem to go unanswered day after day, month after month, year after year. When one can’t see progress, he is naturally persuaded to doubt. It makes perfect sense then that there is something so invigorating about moments when God moves specifically in the situation for which we have prayed.
As I watched students move across the drama center to surrender to what God was impressing upon their heart, I could not help but weep as I realized many of these had parents or other loved ones who were praying desperately that God would move in their heart. We had one student who gave his heart to Christ apologize to his mother for his actions in front of his peers. How does that happen? How does a teenage guy humbly apologize to his mother? GOD IS ABLE! I could write page after page about the different victories gained that day. Yet, one theme resounds: GOD IS ABLE!
That one truth is enough. He is able.
What have you given up on? Who have you given up on? What about yourself have you given up on? I get it. Most of the evidence says otherwise. Your experience leaves you depressed just thinking about it. Yet, whatever “it” is–GOD IS ABLE! Perhaps it would do us a lot of good to just say it out loud. God is able! Perhaps your kids need to hear you say it. God is able! Perhaps you need to just keep saying it until you really believe it. God is able! Marriages, Children, Sickness, Jobs, Finances, Depression, Bitterness, Anger–God is able! Though my experience, those close to me, and the facts all say otherwise…
I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that HE IS ABLE to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. -2 Timothy 1:12
There are a lot of things I do not know, a lot of questions I cannot answer. Yet, there is one thing I know. I know on whom I have believed and I am confident that He is able. I closed my last blog mentioning what a shame it would be for our students to commit to being real for Christ while we fail to make the same commitment. Similarly, let us not be leaders of doubt, lacking in confidence, worrying about tomorrow. Instead, let us be firsthand examples to our students that faith moves mountains, peace passes understanding, and HE IS ABLE to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.
David Poston 